Well, Leiblings, I asked muis to remove this 'story', but she says they
want to keep it up due to the overwhelmingly positive response and
rave reviews its gotten--NOT! So, it appears the only way to have it
removed is to finish it, and then, as a result of the final verdict,
pronounce it DOA!lol

Although Pepa and Silvia may stay around to raise my bp, my dear Maca
and Esther of HC will be on summer hiatus, providing me with enough
obsession-free time to attempt a Mystery at Konigsbrunn Castle wrap-up!
God only knows what I'll do if Otalia manages to re-inveigle me from my
12-Step program;-)

Okay, so Asshat's ostensible attacker has--mistakenly?--landed a glancing
blow to the noggin of our Carla. Schwarzenbach the shamus, along with
Carla, having deduced that same-sex romantic notions may have
boogied-on up to the planet at the same time as heterosexuality,
has not only not required a google search to figure out what it is, but has
proudly proclaimed her lesbianism as a WSP--a Weapon of Self-Definition.

Let us keep this in mind as she leaps head-long into the Rube Goldberg
machinery of the von Lahnstein's in an effort to ferret-out those plotting
to make Ansgar a missing link!

Meanwhile, we are privy to Ansgar on his cell phone with his hired hitman, Blitzen:


A: Hello, Blitzen, Dumbkopf!? I thought we had an understanding?
I am supposed to be the victim, not Carla!
B: Was ist los?
A: -- She's the assassin! She's the assassin! You think anyone would believe
she conked herself over the head with my bronze bust and knocked herself out!?
Why would you, I mean, really---
B: What? That wasn't me?
A: Who would believe--Wha--?!
B: Well, no smart cop would believe it-----You've got a bronze bust of yourself--?
A: See, that's what I mean! You're supposed to be making her look guilty, not
taking the heat off of her by turning her into a vic---What's wrong with a bronze bust---?
B: Well, Hombre, you're not even dead yet--I mean--
A: Why wait? If I'm dead no one would ever think of it! My father liked my
other siblings best. Nobody likes me--Wait a minute--What's your problem,
man, that's not the issue! I'm asking you about stupidly attacking my sister!
B: Ja, but wait, Ansgar! I'm telling you, if she was attacked, it wasn't by me!
A: Then who--? Are you telling me there's a REAL killer stalking me? Are you
fracking insane, man--?
B: Well, I'm working alone, Ansgar, and I did not touch your sister over any
part of her body--not that I wouldn't want to--but--
A: Oh, Scheisse--Halt die Schnauze! Her stare alone would turn your erectile
tissue to dust! I want to know what you're going to do about somebody trying
to touch me!
B: Well, sounds like some other kinda Scheisse is hitting the fan, here, Ansgar!
Maybe I should bring in a couple more guys to keep this operation on track--and
maybe to protect you from whoever is really out to get you!
A: Oh, yeah? Who woud you bring in--Prancer and Dasher?
Sarcastic laugh, then more subdued.
And while we're at it, forget about putting poison in the shaving cream and snakes
in my bed.
B: Why? They're pretty good ideas for a conspiracy hatched in your own home!
A: Well, that dumb detective might think I had something to do---you know
how they think-
B: Yeah, but why would they blame you--we've already planned how to set up
the clues so you won't be suspected---
A: Ah-uh-well that dumb detective hinted--uh--seemed kind of s-suspicious about
those things....(voice trailing-off)
B: What? The dick brought up poison shaving cream? Wow!
A: Well, after a pretty rough interrogation it was sort of dragged out of me, you know?
B: What's that? I can't believe it? Which dumb dick was this?
A: You know, that Schwarzenbach--
B: Schwarzenbach, the dyke dick? She's not dumb!
A: Oh, you've heard of her, eh?
B: Heard of her--? Yeah, and she's not dumb, Ansgar!
A: oh--and she's a dyke, too, hunh? Yeah, I should have guessed; all that
"Nothing but the facts, sir" attitude. Thinks she's Jack Webb or something! Women!
Scheisse!
B: Jack who?
A: Aw, forget it, willya--just--
B: Well, look! I've heard of her, all my buddies know about this woman--
A: Well, I wouldn't know about her then, would I, I am not a crook!
B: Okay, but she's a smart dyke cop. No one likes messing with her. She's too
damned methodical.
A: Oh, yeah, she always gets her man, right!? She's a dyke for god's sake--
B: Yeah, well, so's my sister and a nicer woman you'd--
A: Oh crap, Blitzen--can that schmaltzy BS--What's wrong with you people?
That's why you always get caught, you're too stupid on the one hand and
too sentimental on the other. That's why you tried to hit me with my bronze---
B: Ansgar--please! I would not have done it---unless I was trying to kill you!
A: [Pause] Then why didn't it kill her, dammit!?

==========

Well, that's all for now. Sorry if it doesn't make you laugh out loud!
It doesn't make me do that either. But I owe it to the board to try;-)

I will next try "bringen Schwarzenbach bald zuruck."

Thank you, AtlantaFan for your support!

Any story in which Ansgar gets hit in the head is a GOOD story.

Danke CH!