No my other story will continue, but this one just had to leave my mind.

Part 1

The Christmas tree was already standing at Madison Square Garden, ready to be ignited.
The city was completely in the Christmas mood. Everyone was busy buying there Christmas gifts
in the stores. For a non-New Yorker, it was crazy to see all these people running around. Not for her.
She was already living in this metropolis for 20 years. After the death of the love of her live, she had
tried to stay home. The children had begged her to stay, but no, she could not stay. The children had
their own lives and did not need her anymore.

She wanted to leave. Far away. Away from all the memories. Everything in the big house reminded her
of her. My god, after 20 years there still was so much pain.

Where to go, she did not know. She had only one requirement, and that was that the town where she went
had to have a river. Not necessarily the Rhine river just a river with ships and a riverbank. The banks of the
Rhine, oh what fine, but also painful memories she had.

Ultimately, the choice, New York, was taken quite impulsive. But she enjoyed the city. The anonymity. The
new start. Of leaving everything she knew behind and just try to start over.

She had never been back. The children, and now also grandchildren, came to her, but she did not go to the
house where she so long had lived with the love of her live. Where they shared so much happiness and sadness.
No, she did not go there anymore.

Now that Christmas approached, she knew the kids would try again to lure her home. Oh, that game was played
for 20 years now, and they always gave up.

"Mrs. von Lahnstein. The car is ready."
"Thank you Max. Do you want get my coat?"
"Done that already. Are you sure you want to go alone?"
"Yes, I'm sure. This adventure should I must suffer alone"


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 2

The car drove through Central Park. When she moved here, she spend a lot of time in Central Park.
The tranquillity and nature had done her good. Now the Park was covered with thick snow. The winter
had arrived early in New York. She loved this time of year. She was always somewhat melancholic this
time of year, but she found it enjoyable.

The car had arrived at its destination. The driver opened her door and guided her to the entrance of the
practice, because not all the snow from the sidewalk was removed.

"Good morning Mrs. von Lahnstein. Dr. Roberts will receive you as soon as possible. May I take your coat? "
"Thank you, Mathilda. How are you and your children? "
"Excellent, thank you. Ah, there is Dr. Roberts. Would you follow me? "

She followed Mathilda into the doctor's office. She was not nervous. Why should she? What could happen?
She was 75. Had a wonderful life. Met the love of her life, and had a wonderful life with her. Beautiful children.
Wonderful grandchildren. It was good.

"Good morning Dr. Roberts "
"Good morning Mrs. von Lahnstein. Please sit down"
"Thank you and uh do not look that somber"
"Hmmm, we know each other too well"
"Yes, and yet I prefer our distance"
"I know. Well, are you ready for the results?"
"Go with it"
"Okay. As expected, it is not good. There is only one solution and that is finding a suitable donor "
"No. Absolutely not. That would be one of the children and I do not want that. Ready. It is enough."
"I know you think so, but take a little time. Talk to your children. "
"No. My mind is made up."
"You're stubborn, I know from personal experience, but now it's really serious. Think about it again and we will
see each other again next week. It really is life threatening. So please take a little time before a final decision "
"We'll talk next week. Until then "

She stepped back into the car. The driver brought her safely home and helped her to the door of the apartment.
Max opened the door and saw there had come a serenity over her.

"Max. You and I will now have some coffee."
"As you wish Madam. Do you wish anything else?"
"No. I'm going to just change clothes. Till then"

She went to her bedroom. There on the wall hung the portrait. She remembered the time when it was painted,
like it was yesterday. Lars. What would have become of him?
Is he alive? And where? He back then just disappeared and never gave any sign of live.
Oh so what. First coffee.

...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 3

"Are you all right Ma'am, if you don’t mind me asking?"
"Everything is going well Max. Max I am going to travel. It will be a long journey. No fear. You're already
for 20 years my mainstay. Handle all my wishes without contradiction. You just keep your job, so no worries.
Though I am away for a while."
"When do you leave?"
"I have some things to deal with tomorrow. I think the day after tomorrow "
"May I ask where the journey goes to Ma’am."
"Not relevant."
"O it is. I should know what clothes I should pack for you "
"Winter, but also some festive clothes. Christmas is approaching"
"Off course"
"Max, take the rest of the day off. I need a little time alone "
"Will do Ma’am. I’ll see you tomorrow. "

Max went home. His wife was surprised to see him.
"What's going on? Why are you home this early? Is everything all right? "
"I do not know. I've known her for 20 years now, and know her wishes quite well, but now? I do not know "
"What do you mean?"
"She is going on vacation. Day after tomorrow "
"A vacation? The woman who in recent years lived as a hermit?"
"Yes. A vacation"
"Strange. Is she going to her kids or what?"
"No idea. She told nothing about it and it was clear I should not ask anything. Jane It does not feel right"
"Oh, it's probably ok. Do not worry "

The next morning, Max went back to the apartment. His wife had reassured him. He was therefore shocked
when he found out that she had left. There was not much gone. Only one suitcase and the portrait in the bedroom.
On the coffee table was an envelope.

"Dear Max,

All these years you have been my mainstay. I hate saying goodbye. We will meet again. I am sure, sometime,
somewhere, or not.

I am going on a journey. A long journey or not. In any case I will not return here.
I would like to ask you one more thing. I made a list of things I want to be send to my children. A few things I want
to be auctioned for the Kidney Foundation.

The rest I leave up to you. The apartment will be sold in about 6 months, so it must be empty by than.
Max, thanks for your patience. Thank you for your presence. Thanks for your company. Thanks for listening, without
prejudice.

I wish you well."

As usual, this letter was signed only with initials.
There was something in the envelope. Max pulled it out. A check.
What!! $ 5,000,000, -
On the check was a post-it with the text.

"Enjoy your life"

...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 4

"Yasmine, come on now, hurry. I am already waiting for you for half an hour. We are going Christmas shopping.
It's freezing outside. What the hell does it matter what colour sweater you're wearing "
"Mom, you do not understand"
"I do, but what's taking you so long, Ah finally. Let's go"
"Mom, when is dad coming home?"
"This afternoon. I believe his plane lands at 5, but he will take a taxi home"
"And he will stay home for a while now?"
"Yes. At least until January 10th, so do not panic. He will be at home on your birthday "
"That's not the point. He's just too much away lately”
"That's just part if this job, let’s go"

Nearly four hours later they came back to Königsbrunn with bags full of Christmas gifts. Almost simultaneously with
Gustav, the present Count von Lahnstein.

"So ladies, Christmas shopping done?"
"Yes Uncle Gustav, but I will not tell you what I bought. Mom you won’t either, right? "
"No, Yasmine, how was it in the holding today Gustav?"
"Oh the usual bustle of the end of the year Sophia. Say who has the honour this year to persuade our dear mother to
come to Königsbrunn? "
"Mmm, I've done it last year. Our youngest, Catherine, has done it the year before, so as the oldest it is your turn this
year. Success"
"Hmmm. Well tonight I'll call her. Is Carlos home already?"
"No, he called this afternoon that it is stormy in Washington, which means he will be delayed. I can not reach him,
so he will be in the air now. Let's go inside. It's too cold out here"

Carlos called at 9:30 that he had landed and will come home as quickly as possible. Sophia was glad he was back home.
Yasmine was right. He was to often away from home, since he worked at the United Nations envoy. They had considered
moving to Washington, but she did not want it because of Yasmine. After the death of her father, she had a very difficult time.
Although Carlos had taken the role of her father since she was six years old, Yasmine had always kept in touch with
Mohammed until he died from a cardiac arrest. Mohammed, her childhood sweetheart. Hmm her mothers were not amused,
when she was pregnant at 16, but when Yasmine was born, they stood like two proud grandmothers at her crib. And now she
was already 20 years old. Unfortunately she could not benefit her grandmother's that long, because one died not long after her
birth and the other moved to New York.

At half past ten a taxi came. Sophia grabbed her coat and walked outside to welcome Carlos. In the hall she met Gustav, who
had a puzzled face.

"What's going on with you?"
"Strange, but I can not reach mother. I called Max and he said she has gone on a vacation"
"What? Our mother on a vacation? Where is she going?"
"He doesn’t know"
"Did you call her cell phone?"
"Yes, is not in use"
"How strange. That is not like her"
"No, that's what I thought. I’ll try once again tomorrow. Where are you going? "
"Carlos is coming"
"Ah well. Raphaela and I will have a drink before we go to sleep. If you like to join us, we're in the living room "
"Okay, I’ll ask him"


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 5

She sat in her hotel room. She had the curtains closed. London in the evening was beautiful, but it
was only for one night. Tomorrow she would continue her journey. In her hand was a picture folder.
She flipped through the folder. There were pictures of all the people she loved.
The first one was one of her great love. Gently she stroked the picture.
"I'm coming home sweetheart" she said softly.

The following pictures were of her children.

After their marriage they soon decided they wanted children. Which of them would receive the children
was quickly decided. Both of them one child. Luckily they were both healthy enough to conceive. They
briefly had the idea of asking a friend if he wanted to be he father of the children, but they did not want
any interference with the upbringing. Soon they decided for an anonymous donor for their children. The
same one for all children.

They were so happy when Gustav arrived. When two years later Sophia arrives, their happiness was
complete. A wish for a third child was not there. Until the Lahnsteinholding organized a benefit for a
children's home and they saw Catherine. They fell in love with that little girl. The adoption process was
started and not long after that, they had three children.

Their life was a dream. Of course there were setbacks and sad events, but the love for each other and
for their family, overcame everything.

When the children grew up, they had more time for each other and travelled a lot together. During one of
these trips the catastrophe hit them. The doctors still do not know what disease it was, but it was deadly.

Like a wolf she cried. Why? Why her?

She had tried to resume life. If only for the children. It was pointless. Everything, yes everything in the
house reminded her. The pain was too much.

She got up to take a look outside. It snowed again in London. Does it snow at home? Tomorrow she would
see. Tomorrow she would, for the first time in 20 years, go back.
Back to the house where she had lived so many happy years.

She doubted for a moment if she would inform her children of her arrival. She had seen that Gustav had called.

She decided not to call them.


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 6

The family von Lahnstein sat unsuspecting at dinner, when a taxi stopped at the castle.
Andreas, the butler, saw the taxi arriving and walked over to the guest.

"Countess? I, uh, welcome home "
"Thank you Andreas. Given the time, my children, should be having diner right now"
"That's right. May I guide you to them?"
"Yes please Andreas"

When she, supported by Andreas, entered the hall, she just panicked for a while, but quickly resumed
again. There was hardly any change. It felt familiar, yet strange.

Before she went in, Andreas took her coat. While he put it away, she had a moment alone. She listened
to the house. She heard the voices from the dining room, but also the voices of the past.

Without any reason she looked up the stairs. She inhaled the smell of the house.
No, nowhere a trace of her perfume.

Andreas came back.
"Shall I go ahead?"
"Please"

They approached the dining room. There apparently someone told something funny, because she heard
everyone laughing. Andreas knocked and went inside.

"Sorry for the interruption, but there is just a, uh .."
"Andreas what is it?"
"Hello"
"Mother??"
"What, how, when?"
"Sophia, calm. Can I come and have diner with you? "
"But of course mother, Andreas .."
"I'm on my way"

After she had embraced and greeted everyone, she sat down at the table.
She saw that Gustav, Sophia and Catherine looked worried. She had also seen herself in the mirror, she
did not look good. Ah, the fatigue of the journey. After a good night sleep, it will be good again.

"Mother, what a surprise that you celebrate Christmas with us this year. Why didn’t you call?"
"Oh Gustav, it wouldn’t be a surprise then. Come let us eat. After dinner I’ll rest a while and then I tell you
why this year I will celebrate Christmas with you "
"That's okay mother. I’ll ask Andreas to get your suite ready. Or would you rather sleep somewhere else?"
"No, the suite is okay Catherine, but Andreas is already busy with my suite. I've already asked him.
Now let us eat"

...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 7

Even after she had slept, she went into the living room of the suite and sat down. She was just
staring around, then came the tears. It hurt so much to be here alone. Of course, New York was
lonely without her, but here it felt much worse. It had always been their place. Where they were
alone and just enjoyed each other. No kids, no holding, no others who interfered with them.

"Come on, be strong. The children are entitled to know why you've come back "

She just washed herself and put on clean clothes and went downstairs. In the living room the children
were already waiting for her, along with their partners.

"Mother, did you rest you well?"
"I did Sophia"
But they saw that she had been crying.
"Do you want something to drink?"
"A glass of red wine please, Gustav"

Gustav gave them all a glass of red wine.

"Please mother. Do you want to tell us now what led you to dome here this year? Do not get me wrong.
We love that you are here "
"I know. You've tried long enough to get me here. This time it's my decision. Children, I've seen your
worried faces. I know. I look bad. It's not going well with me. My doctor has given me medication, so it'll
be okay. "
"What is wrong with you mother?"
"Nothing special. Just old age "

She saw that they did not believe her. It was hard for her not to tell the truth, but she did not want them to
try to change her mind and start a search for a donor. It was enough. She had come home to die. Surrounded
by her beloved children. But that she could not nor would tell them, not now.

"Mother, why have you not told Max that you were coming here?"
"Uh, must have forgotten. Come, let us toast "
"What do you want to toast to Mother?"
"To life, Sophia, to life"

They toasted, but not wholeheartedly. The children were very worried, but hid it from her.

The rest of the evening they chatted until bedtime. Sophia accompanied her mother to her suite. Before she went
inside, she turned.

"Sophia, will you do me a favour?"
"Sure Mother. What can I do for you? "
"Tomorrow I want to bring a bunch of red roses to the grave"
"The grave of mama?"
"Yes"
"I'll arrange a bouquet of roses. Do you want me to go along? "
"I want you to bring me, but I give the roses"
"Okay we’ll do that. Good night mother "
"Good night honey"


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 8

The next day Sophia left early to pick up a bunch of red roses
According to the weather forecast, this afternoon it would start snowing again, so she wanted to go
to the Lahnstein cemetery with her mother, this morning. At 10.00 o clock she was back with the
most beautiful bunch of red roses that she could find.

Her mother sat in the living room, by the fireplace, reading a book.

"Mother, I have the roses. It will snow again this afternoon. Shall we go now? "
"Yes, that's good."
"Dress warm because it's very cold outside"
"I will. In about fifteen minutes I’ll be back downstairs and then we go. Okay? "
"Yes. See you soon"

As she put on her warm clothes, a calm came over her. For the first time in 20 years she went to visit
the grave of her great love. Even though it hurt that she was gone, it felt like she was going on a visit.

Sophia was already at the bottom of the stairs waiting. The ride to the cemetery took fifteen minutes.
The cemetery radiated a serene calm. All the stones were covered with snow. It was a bit to much for
her, but fortunately Sophia was there to support her.
She held her mother tightly as she walked to the correct tombstone. Which was also covered with snow.

When she stood on the tombstone, the tears came. Sophia looked at her anxiously. She nodded to her.

"Mother, are you sure you want to do this alone?"
"Yes, I am sure"
"May I remove the snow from the stone for you?"
"Yes please, and then I want to be alone"

Sophia reached down and took the snow from the tombstone with slow sweeping.

There her name appeared.

Carla Sophia, Countess von Lahnstein.

This really was too much for her.

Sophia looked at her again worried, but she waved her away.

This she had and wanted to do alone.

...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King