Part 42

Lisa had told Susanne that Stella had broken her leg and how, because Sophia had emailed her. Since she
had gotten to know Stella better during her visit at Christmas, she was curious how she was, but she didn't
have her phone number, so she called Carla.

They chat for a while about this and that. Susanne told Carla that she was looking forward to the visit of Sophia
this summer and asked about Carla's vacation plans.

"Well, we were planning to go to Italy. I wanted to show Stella and the boys the area where my mother comes from,
but because this is a mountainous area, I fear that we should abandon those plans. Because remaining in the house
for three weeks is not really fun. I can drive around by car, but for the guys that's no vacation. So we will have
to make other plans"
"Yeah, that sucks. And children in that age can be very annoying if they are not enjoying themselves"
"Tell me about it. They starting their puberty, but you know everything about that"
"You know. I was just thinking, why don't you just come along with Sophia. Brigitte and I have a guesthouse
with two bedrooms. We used to rent this, when the restaurant is not so profitable yet, but that is no longer
necessary. You can use it. Lisa would love to have the boys out and about, so you can spend some time
together. What do you think?"
"I do not know. Susanne, if that is a good idea?"
"Sure it is. Come"
"I do not know. I must first consult with Stella and Sophia, of course. Moreover, I do not have the impression
that Brigitte and Lisa already know?"
"Yes, they already know and Sophia thinks it a good idea"
"What? Sophia already knows this"
"Oh, uh, yeah, I think I've already discussed it with her"
"Susanne. I need to end this call. Stella needs me. Goodbye"
"Yes. Goodbye, let me know if you're coming"
"Yes. Goodbye"

Carla sat amazed at her desk. "What the hell was that? I have a, in my opinion, nice conversation,
and than this proposal which has been extensively discussed. Why should I want to spend my vacation
with my ex? Sophia, we need to talk. We really need to talk" Carla thought.

She got up and went to the apartment. Stella sat in the living room with the boys playing a computer game,
and they were enjoying themselves so much that they do not even saw that Carla came in. She walked
to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water and walked back to the living room. They still didn't notice her standing
in the living room. She stood looking at them and saw how much they enjoyed it. She did not want to disturb
them and walked into the hallway again,
"Carla, where are you going?" She heard Stella ask. She stuck her head inside, smiled at Stella and said,
"Sophia"

She walked to the studio and saw that Sophia was inside studying. She went inside,

"Sophia?"
"Mom!"
"Sophia, we need to talk'
"What is it? You're so serious. Is something wrong?"

Carla opened the bottle and took a sip of water. Looked Sophia in her eyes seriously, and took another sip.

"Mom, you make me nervous. What is it?"
"I have just spoken Susanne"
"Oh. How was she?"
"Sophia, please, you know very well. Why did you not tell me about your plans for this vacation?"
"Uh, what do you mean?"
"Oh come on. Susanne said you have discussed it"
"Yeah, uh, I thought it would be a good idea"
"Sophia, why would I want to spend my vacation with Susanne?"
"I, uh, Mom why are you like this?"
"Sophia, how and with whom I go on holiday, is no concern of Susanne. I do not think you should discuss it
with her. Why have you proposed this?"

Sophia saw that Carla was furious, but restrained herself. She was not sure how to begin. Whatever
she would say, she suspected that Carla would explode, or perhaps even run away.

"Sophia?"
"Mom, I do not know how to start"
Carla raised her eyebrows. "At the beginning, perhaps?"
"That's the problem"
"Sophia, what's going on?" Carla had no idea where this would go.
"Mom, please sit down?"
Carla was now a bit restless and looked for a place to sit. Only Sophia's temporary bed was available,
so she went there and sat down.

"Mom. Since I have more contact with Susanne, I started thinking about what happened back then.
Because I get to know Susanne better now, I understand less and less. Every time I try to clarify what
went wrong at that time, I notice that both of you conceal me something. I can not ask Dad anymore.
I can only ask you two, but I feel that you don't want to tell me what happened. It seems like you just do
not trust me. When I saw you together at Christmas I noticed nothing of a friction between you, but I did
notices that there are matters unspoken"
"Sophia, please not now"
"Not now! You mean never"
"That's not true"
"Well, it is true. Whenever I try to find out about that time, you block. It was your desire to have a child
and you have not even managed to stay together until I was born"
"Sophia, you're going too far" and Carla stood up.
"No, I do not. I think I am entitled to a statement"
"And then you just make you own plans of me spending my vacation with Susanne. Sophia you are going too far"

Carla became even more furious, but that was because she began to feel very uncomfortable. With her statements
Sophia put a finger on the sore spot.
"No, I do not think I go too far. I think you finally have to be honest with me"
Sophia began to shout again because Carla avoided her question.
"Sophia, if you can not talk normal and I'm leaving"
"Then leave, because you will not answer anyway"
"Sophia, please"
"Go. Please leave"
Sophia was so upset that Carla hesitated what to do.

"Go away!"

Carla walked into the hallway. As she didn't close the door behind her, Stella had heard the argument.
She had sent the boys to their room to bring back the game, and rolled her wheelchair to the hallway.
She was therefore waiting in the hallway. Carla looked at her and walked past her to the apartment. Because
Stella wasn't so fast with the wheelchair yet, she also met Sophia, who left the studio. Sophia looked at Stella, and
doubted whether she would walk past her or not.
"Sophia. I have heard a portion of your argument. I can not help, this is really a matter between you and Carla,
but I am there if you need me"

Sophia looked at Stella, first still a bit mad, but her eyes softened. She smiled gently and said,
"I know"
"Where you going?"
"Away from here. I need to have distance"
"Do not do reckless things, baby"
"Do not worry. I'm going to let off steam in No Limits" and gave Stella a kiss and walked away.
Stella sighed deeply went into the apartment again. Carla sat on the couch and stared ahead. Stella rolled to her.

"Carla. I have heard a large part of your argument. I am there for you both, but you should solve this problem with
Sophia by yourself. What she requires from you, I can not give her. You'll have to do that, whenever you want.
I do think it is time to give clarity to Sophia. She is right when she says, that you block if anyone asks questions
about that period in your life"

Carla said nothing. Stella heard the staff arrive with dinner. The boys came back.

"Carla, the food is coming. What do you want?"
"We're going to eat" Carla said.
Stella saw the cool and callous countess appear that she used to despise. While eating there dinner nothing
seemed wrong. During the meal Carla was the cool Countess.

It promised to be a nice evening.

...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

_________________
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching."
Satchel Paige

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 43

After dinner the boys went to their room to continue playing,

Carla sat on the couch and began to read some documents. Stella looked at her and still saw
the cold Countess siting there. She wondered what she had to do to get Carla back with both
feet on the ground. After a while she drove to the couch and took the documents from Carla's
hands and put them on the table. Carla looked a bit annoyed, and saw Stella staring at her.

"What? Why do you take the documents?" She wanted to take the documents back, but
Stella prevented that.

"Carla, we can do two things. Pretend that nothing happened or we try to talk"
"What?"
"Carla, you know that this act of the cold Countess doesn't work with me. If you don't want to talk
about it, fine but than I prefer that you go to our suite, because I don't want to spend the evening
with you acting like that and if you stay, I fear we are going to argue also"
"You're overreacting. There's nothing wrong. Sophia will come to her senses"

Stella looked at her, sighed deeply and said,
"Okay, if this is what you want, then see you" and she turned the wheelchair and went to the bedroom
and lie on the bed.

This time took a little longer than usual before Carla came after her.

"What is going on?"
"What could be going on! If you do not understand that I don't want to spend an evening with you acting the
arrogant Countess, then I do not know. Carla, your daughter has every right to ask these questions and get
answers. If you can't or won't answer, that your decision, but I am completely on Sophia's side. in this matter
You and Susanne are the only two who know what went wrong at that time and I think Sophia should know
what happened. The way you act now is nonsense. I thought you've grown over that act by now. It's okay if
you use that attitude in your business, but not here. Not with me, because I see that you suffer. The choice is yours"
And she looked Carla straight in her eyes.

Carla did not know what to do with the directness of Stella. She knew that she shouldn't play theatre for Stella,
nor did she need to, because she always saw through it. But her past with Susanne was still very painful.
Of course she knew she had to tell Sophia what happened then, but how and when she always postponed.
Even Stella she never told in detail what had happened because it was too painful for her.

"Stella, I do not want to argue with you. Please give me some time"
"I think you've had enough time Carla. Sophia is 18. If you're still not finished with the failure of your marriage to
Susanne, I'm afraid that it will never happen. I also do not want an argue, but I also do not want these debates
anymore. Sophia is in town and I want you to talk with her when she returns home. If you can’t than write it down"

Carla just sat there watching her in silence. She sighed deeply and said:
"Of course you're right, but it's hard. Will you help me? I want to try to tell you first"
"Of course I do"
"I'll get something to drink and can I lie next to you while I try to tell"
"Don’t be ridiculous. Of course"

That night, Carla told Stella everything. Her expectations, her feelings, her pain, her frustration, her inability,
everything she has been through back then and what she felt. It wasn’t easy at the start, but gradually she
noticed all the relief. Finally the burden of that period fell of her shoulders. Stella listened attentively.
Stella asked occasional questions, but not too intrusive because she saw how much effort it took for Carla.

After Carla had told the story, Stella took her in her arms and kissed her lovingly. Carla looked at her gratefully.
She was very relieved that she finally told her about this painful period. While talking, there were some things that
become clearer to herself. She kissed Stella back and said:
"Thank you, you more or less forced me to finally talk about this period in my life" and she kissed her again, then
she looked at her lovingly. Stella looked back, but with a different look. She took Carla face in her hands and kissed
her, but this time with more passion. After the kiss Carla said
"You’re not serious. With this plaster leg”
Stella said with a grin
"But since when to we need my leg, and furthermore, we'll do it very careful just like the hedgehog"

Carla was so tired of telling that she completely surrendered to Stella, who began to undress her, as she tenderly
kissed her. Because the cast was surely an obstacle, they had some improvisation, but eventually Stella was also
stripped and they continued their caresses. Because Stella knew how much effort it took Carla to tell her story,
she took the initiative and it did not take long before Carla had her orgasm.
Not long after that Stella was also lying exhausted next to Carla.

While they were still enjoying their lovemaking, Carla heard her cell phone.
"No, don’t answer it. Stay with me" Stella said. Carla hesitated, but she said:
"Maybe it's Sophia. I'll take a look anyway" and went to the living room.

The display of the mobile indicated that Christian called, but still Carla answered
"Hello Christian, Carla here, how are you?"
"I’m well, but can you please come here as soon as possible. Sophia is here and do not ask me how it happened,
but she is terribly drunk. She can no longer stand on her feet"
"I'll come immediately" and she hung up.

She went to Stella, told her what was going on, pulled her clothes on and left. Christian had put Sophia down in the
kitchen and stayed with her until Carla arrived. Carla was shocked when she saw how drunk Sophia was.
She carried her to the car. All the way home she looked at her through the mirror. Arriving at home she took
Stella's wheelchair, in which she carried her to the apartment. Stella took her crutches and walked into the living
room waiting for them there.

"What do we do now," Carla said.
Stella had worked in various hotels and so she had to deal with similar incidents several times before.
"Try if she wants to drink water and let her sleep, but I do think that we should remain here. Get her bed cloth,
we will make a bed here on the couch and leave the bedroom door open"
Carla took the stuff and they made a bed on the couch. They pulled Sophia's clothes off and laid her on the couch.

"I'm not going to bed. I’ll stay here with her," Carla said. Stella looked around and said,
"Take our bedclothes and we make our bed on the other couch"
"No, you don’t need to stay too. You go to bed and I’ll stay on this couch"
"No way. We do this together and just to be sure get a bucket"
Carla pulled her nose up and went for the stuff.

It was a restless night. The only one who radiated some rest was Stella, but that was because she had taken a painkiller.

The next morning Carla heard that Sophia had to throw up, she quickly got up and handed her the bucket.
When she finished she looked at her mother's with tears on her cheeks and said,
"I'm so sorry"
"No, I am sorry, but I make it up to you. Give me some time, but everything going to be fine"

Carla sat down beside her, took her daughter in her arms until she fell asleep again.

When Stella woke up she saw that Sophia was still in Carla's arms sleeping and Carla also was in a deep sleep.
She smiled. Carla had overcome her blockade, the only thing she had to do now was tell Sophia about her past but
she was sure that it would work. Stella was convinced it would.

...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 44

Stella had her walking cast now and they had moved back to their suite. Carla still didn't have the
big conversation with Sophia. She said she wanted to do it during the holidays, because they had
decided to go to Susanne with Sophia.

The boys were busy with their last days of the school year and found the change in holiday destination
perfect. They had understood that Lisa's husband allowed them to use his game computer. She
already had the computer put in the guesthouse. Susanne had the guesthouse adjusted so Stella
wouldn't have trouble walking there.

Carla would arrange the tickets through the holding company. In about one week they would leave.
The first things they wanted to take with them were already packed.

Carla was working at home. Stella came in with coffee.
"Hey, Nice, Coffee"
"Did you arrange the tickets?"
"Uh, yeah, I wanted to talk with you about it" Carla said while enjoying the coffee.
"Why, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, but I have ordered only three"
"Why three?"
"For you and the boys"
"What? What do you mean?"
"Hush, let me just finish. I've decided I want to tell Sophia about my marriage to Susanne before we
get there. She has her driving license now, so I planned to drive to Marseilles with her. Then we have
plenty of time to talk to each other. Nobody will disturb us. I can not run away" Carla said with a wink.
"Hmm, are you going to film it?"
"Film it?"
"Yes, your own road movie" Stella said smiling "No, just kidding I love the idea. It is not that far away.
Does Sophia know already?"
"No, I'm going to tell her soon. How do you think she will respond?"
"I think she really enjoys driving with you to Marseilles, she will also find it very nice to finally hear the story,
but do you think you can handle it?"
"Yes. I had a lot of thinking after our conversation about that period. The edges are now really less painful
and if it still would go wrong, then so be it"

Stella looked at her proudly.

"What?"
"Who would have though that someday I would hear you say that it does not matter to you to
show your feelings"
"Hmm, that's the influence of that nagging manager of the castle. Boy, can that woman be whining.
You know her?" Carla said with a grin on her face.
"No, but she sounds very sympathetic. Isn't her name Stella?" Stella said, and she left the
room and waved to Carla.

Carla had to finish some work and then called Sophia to ask her when she'll be home. Sophia told her
she just got home and Carla asked if she could come by.

Sophia was just making tea, when Carla knocked.
"Come in, Mom, what can I do for you?"
"What are you doing?"
"Making tea, do you want some?"
"Great, can I sit down?"
"Yes" Sophia said as she looked at Carla with raised eyebrows.

She gave Carla tea and sat down beside her.
"What is going on? You're a little nervous"
"Yeah, uh, I want to say something. I have purchased tickets for Stella, Marcus and Julius, but not for
you and me"
Sophia looked at her quizzically.
"I want to drive with you to Marseilles and finally tell you during the journey of my time with Susanne.
Does that suit you?"
Sophia first looked surprised and then pleased.
"Just you and me?"
"Just you and me!"
"Great, when do we leave?"
"Stella and the boys leave Friday. I want to drive there within two days and be there when they arrive,
because I want to take the suitcases with us, so Stella doesn't have to take them along, so Wednesday I think.
Does that suit you?"
"Yes, great"

Wednesday afternoon, the car was packed. Carla and Sophia were ready to go. They said goodbye to
Elisabeth. Stella and the boys walked to the car with them, where they parted.
"Please drive carefully and stop if it gets too emotional, Carla" Stella said.
"Of course, do not worry, we will see each other Friday" and they hugged.
They waved them off and they were gone.

Carla, would drive the first part of the trip. They chatted about this and that. Turned on some music
and sang along. Sophia sang her version of the Queen song she had to rehearse.

After two hours' drive Carla decided to stop at a roadside restaurant. She wanted something to eat
and gently begin her story. They ordered lunch and after that was brought Carla started,
"Sophia, I think the main reason of the separation of Susanne and me has been that only love is not enough.
We loved each other very much. So much that we wanted a marriage and wanted a child, but we did so
much wrong. Because it will be a bit painful and I probably will get a bit emotional, I booked a hotel.
We drive another hour or two and then we arrive at the hotel. Tomorrow we have still a few hours to drive
to Marseilles, but we won't go to Susanne yet, but stay another night in a hotel. Is that okay with you?"
"Sure Mom, but do you think you can handle it?"
"Yes, but I do not want any of us to drive and at home we are always disturbed by something or someone,
so this seemed the best solution. Let's drive on"


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 45

They had arrived at the hotel. Carla took a shower while Sophia ordered dinner. They ate in the hotel room. At the time Carla
came out of the bathroom, the food was brought

During dinner Carla began to tell,
"As you know, Susanne fell in love with me. As if a lightning struck her. Fur her it was love on first site. I had not noticed it,
and I was not really open for it. After Hanna's death, I had some affairs, but a new love, no, because I did not want it. I wanted
her as friend, but not as a lover. She did not give up and eventually I fell in love with her too. We had fun together, but we also each
had our own lives. I with my family in the castle and my work in the holding. Susanne lived Lisa and Paul at her father's house and
had her work as a taxi driver. We tried to be together as much as possible, but balancing work and our families was difficult"
"How did you do that?"
"We tried to schedule time, but often we saw each other only briefly. I called a taxi and often would ask for Susanne, so we had time
during the ride. Susanne had just returned from Argentina and her children had many needs. I had to really get used to it"
"Why?"
"Well, look at our family now, you know how much time the normal family life takes. For you we do not do much anymore, but the boys
still require a lot of attention and time. That's okay, because you grow in to that, but I was definitely not used to it"
"Because you did not have children?"
"Yes, but also because we, my brothers and I, had nannies and governesses. My parents were not so much there for us.
That was common. You also had a nanny when you were little, but Stella absolutely didn't want that. She wanted us to take care of you on our own as much as possible"
"Yes, and as we know, she always gets what she wants"
"Hmm. I think that is one of the problems between Susanne and me. I was young and unattached. She was also young, but already had a family with adolescent children.
Our lives were so different, but because we loved each other so much, we put that aside"
"But how did you encounter that every day?"
"No, we didn't, because we did not live together. We did argue about it now and then. Sometimes we had a date, and again it was
cancelled not because her children needed attention"
"But you were busy in the holding company?"
"Yes, even then, but I always tried to make time"
"Then Susan had to go to her children? And did not understand?"
"No, not then. What also wasn't easy, was that Arno was reluctant accepting Susanne had fallen in love with a woman and
if you live in a house together, this could run into problems"
"So Arno was a problem?"
"Yes, but that we would overcome, we thought. A bigger problem was my father. He was ill but did not want anyone outside the family to know, not even Susanne.
So I had an important secret for her. He was so ill that we thought ... sorry"
"Do you want to stop?"
Carla shook her head.
"You want a drink?"
"Yes, water please"
Sophia took water and asked
"Are you sure you don't want to stop?"
"Yes I would like to stop please"
"Shall we take a walk? Go outside for a while"

They went outside and walked towards the centre of town. There were several open terraces and they decided to have a drink on one
of the terraces. They were chatting with each other and saw that on a table away, two men were looking at them.
"What we do we do. Ignoring them or are we leaving" Sophia said.
"Oh, they will disappear on their own. Let sit here nicely. Moreover, it is for me a very long time since I got such attention from men"
"Mom, stop it"

The men were not really planning to leave and began to flirt with them. They let them go on for a while, but eventually got tired of it.
They wanted to leave, but the men sat down with them.
"May we offer you a drink ladies?"
"No, you may not. We are not thirsty and were ready to go. You coming Mom?"
"Oh, mother and daughter, always fun" said one of the men.
"I do not think my wife thinks that is a good idea" Carla said and stood up
"Come on, sweetheart, let's go"

The men just sat there puzzled, but stopped their effort.

Sophia and Carla went back to their hotel.

"What was exactly wrong with Granddad?"
"It finally turned out, he was not sick, but it was a poisoning attempt by Ansgar"
"Sure Ansgar again, but why should you not tell Susanne?"
"My father thought it was a private matter and did not want the press to get wind of it"
"But Susanne was not quite the press?"
"No, but he did not want it told. I hated that I could not tell her. We were arguing about this, as she felt that
I had not trusted her"
"I can imagine that she thought that. I would not appreciate it either if didn't hear such information"
"Yes, but it was definitely a different time"
"Nonsense. I would perceive it as a breach of trust. If I would conceal something similar, you would not like it"
"Hmm"
"Mom, didn't you trust each other? I mean, why did you not just tell her?"
"I did eventually, and than she understood it"
"Hmm"
"Would you like a drink?"
"Yes, please"

Carla got a drink for both of them and while she poured a glass of wine, Sophia asked,

"Why did you really got married?"
"What?"
"Well what I've heard so far does not sound like a solid relationship, not that I'm an expert, given my
history with Anne, but so far it sounds more like two people who love each other, but are not really engaged
sharing a life"

Carla did not know how here to react and was still with her back to Sophia pouring wine.
Fortunately for her, her cell phone rang.

"That must be Stella, I'll take it for a moment"


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Hi,

I'm sorry that I haven't posted any new translations. At the moment I'm busy ending the story.
It will be 2 or 3 chapters and than the Story will end.

This take some time because I have to translate to German as well.

When I'm done I'll start translating to English again.

Please be patient.

Thanks and see you later

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 46

After the telephone conversation with Stella, Carla came back into the living room. She looked at Sophia, who watched her expectantly.

"Stella sends her greeting" Carla said and thus dodged Sophia's question.
"Thank you" Sophia said, waiting for Carla to speak again. Carla, however, sat down and took a sip of her wine and looked back to Sophia.
Sophia waited again, but eventually began to speak first.

"You have difficulty answering my question, I notice. Why?"
"You know, the easiest answer would be, because we loved each other, but we still loved each other when we got divorced. I want to answer truthfully,
but currently I can not put it into words. Allow me some time, but I'll get back to you"
"Okay. Do you still want to talk further or would you rather quit and go to sleep?"
"Let's see if there is anything on TV. I want some distraction. Is that okay with you?"
"Of course"

They sat on the couch and found a TV channel that aired an old Comedy and watched TV for a while. The comedy was about a family
where a baby was just born and showed the first problems of young families. After the Comedy Sophia said;

"When did you decided to start a family?"
"Are you sure you want me to answer this question, this is about you?"
"Yes, I want an answer. If you say something that might hurt me, I know it is not intentional"
"Hmm, where did you learn to ask very probing questions and then respond so professionally?"
"Do you really ask me that? The daughter of a lawyer!"
"Of course, stupid of me. Okay, let's go. We never talked about starting a family. Susanne had children and I was not thinking
about it yet. Shortly after we got married, Susanne began to talk about it, but I was not enthusiastic. However, Susanne
didn't stop talking about it. Eventually I too became excited, but it was clear from the start that Susanne would become pregnant and not me.
We went looking for a donor "
"But you still did not live in the same house?"
"Nope. We had seen some houses, but they were either too small for families or too expensive, because Susanne insisted on paying half of it"
"So you wanted Lisa and Paul to live with you in the same house?"
"That was the intention, but ultimately Lisa and Paul did not want to live with us and continued to live with Arno"
"Bahh, it's all getting a bit complicated"
"Tell me about it. The house was never found, so I decided to build a house on a lot that I owned"
"And there you finally lives together?"
"Well, no ... ... ... ... "
"Mom, are you okay?"
"Give me a moment"
"Why don't we just stop and go to sleep?"
"That's probably wise"

That night, Carla though a lot about Sophia's question why she and Susanne got married.

The next morning they drove further south. As Carla slept badly, Sophia drove the first part.

"Why were you so sad when I asked about the house?"
"The memory was a bit too much. We were already separated before the house was finished. Before I sold it, we went there
to take a final look, but it was very sad. At that point it became really clear to me that it was over. It hurt a lot to be there"
"Have the two of you talked about it then?"
"Superficially, as usual in the last period. Sophia, there is a sign that indicates that there is a roadhouse ahead. Will you stop there?"
"Sure, are you hungry?" And she looked at Carla and saw tears running down her cheeks.

She drove directly to the parking lot, parked the car and took her mother in her arms and comforted her.
After Carla had settled down, she asked,

"Why are you so sad?"
"Oh, you know, that was the absolute end. In retrospect it was really my fault. I've destroyed it. I was too suspicious, too suspicious.
I started acting like the cool, controlling Countess. I've destroyed it. I have deceived her. I .... "
While she was holding Carla, Sophia thought, "What's this?"
"I just failed. Whenever I felt pushed into a corner I went away and behaved like the cool countess. Certainly not show your
feelings was the motto in our family, because that was weak and not according to etiquette"
Carla went from sadness to anger about her behaviour, but Sophia was thinking about the deception. Sophia let go of her mother,
and leaned back in her chair. Carla saw that she was hurt.

"What is wrong with you? Are you feeling okay?"
" .... "
"Sophia, what is it?"
"You know, I've always thought that Susanne had cheated on you with Dad, but now you tell me you cheated on her"
"Uh .. "
"No. Not here, I'm going to drive again"
"Sophia"
"Not now"


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 47

They drove for a while until Carla demanded Sophia to stop the car at the next parking place.
Sophia stopped and walked right out of the car. Carla followed her and tried to stop her.

"Sophia, please stop. We need to talk"
"Why? All this time you have told me that Susanne cheated on you with Dad and now it turns
out that you've cheated on her"
"Sophia, come sit down"

Reluctantly she sat down.

"During our search for a donor, Susanne met your father. He was the ideal donor for her, but I did not
want him to be the donor because Lars and I had a history"
"Don't try to talk you out now!"
Carla sighed deeply and continued,
"Ultimately we decided to choose him and as it turned out that Susanne could not have children, we,
as you know, decided that I would become pregnant. During my pregnancy, Lars fell in love with Susanne.
She also felt attracted to him and they have deceived me. That in brief is what happened"
"Hmm. That's the story you've told me so far, but why did you just say in your emotions that you have betrayed her"

"We lock the car and go take a walk here. Okay?"

Sophia locked the car and they went for a walk.

"During my pregnancy I, like most women, had a lot of mood swings. This can cause problems in your relationship.
I was not always kind to Susanne. Moreover, it went completely wrong in our families, because Elisabeth and
my father wanted to spend their lives together and she had separated from Arno. I was no longer welcome at
Arno's house and I did not think it was fair to stay in the castle. So we're finally going to live together in the
penthouse of the Holding ".
"You lived in the Holding? At your workplace?"
"Well, just about, but it was a great place to live, you were coming and we could thus make you a home till the
house was finished. Because we wanted Lars to be part of your life, he was involved in the pregnancy. Of course
I noticed that Susanne and he liked each other, but I noticed too late that Lars fell love with her. Of course we talked
about it, but Lars could not master his feelings and did not want to give up Susanne. I was full of doubt. Arno, before our
marriage expressed his doubts several times, because he always believes that Susanne once again would choose
a man. Ultimately, they fell for each other"
"And you stood by and watched"
"I, well you know. In that period I went to America for a few weeks and then they pulled closer together. When I came
back I noticed that something had changed between them. I did not know what to do. I have approached them both,
but felt I was not really noticed"
"But could they come close to you or where you acting as the cold Countess?"
"... ..."
"Mom, I know you well enough to know that if you've had enough of someone for whatever reason, you freeze up and
do not let them get close anymore. Have you fought for your marriage or ..?"
"You know, I was so tired of the whole situation. Lars could not suppress his feelings. Susanne hesitated and I,
well, after Susanne had confessed that something had happened between them I was so hurt and doubt hit me
even harder to. My confidence was broken and I just did not have the energy to start again. Susanne chose to
break up with Lars and chose to continue with me, but the confidence was just gone. Moreover, I saw that they
had very great difficulty with their breakup. Eventually I too have made a mistake and cheated on her.
We have tried go get back together, but how much I still loved her, it was over. What hurt me most was that
Susanne accepted my mistake so easily. Then my rational side prevailed and put an end to it. Not long after
that Susanne chose Lars that only confirmed my suspicion"

They were back at the car and went driving. Both were preoccupied and did not feel like talking. During lunch
they only talked about this and that. The last piece to the hotel Carla drove. Arrived at the hotel they decided
to eat in town and not in their room.

During dinner Sophia started asking questions again.
"How did you deal with the relationship between Dad and Susanne?"
"For them it looked rational. But inside I had so much grief. I tried to keep distance"
"Why, tried?"
"Well, I could not break the contact. You're our child, so the contact between Susanne, Lars and me was retained.
Susanne has tried to restore our relationship, but I shut her out, so eventually she wanted the divorce"
"What, they always told that you pushed the divorce through?"
"Oh, no, Susanne wanted the divorce, but when we would sign the papers, she suddenly wanted to get back
together and then I pushed it"
"Wasn't it hard to stay in touch with Dad and Susanne?"
"Yes, of course. There were several moments that I wanted Susanne to come back begging on my knees,
but did not because the ratio won. I would never be able to trust her. I would always have the fear of losing her to
the next man to whom she fell in love with"
"Well, now she is happy with a woman for several years!"
"Yes. Things happen. When Lars told me I was very surprised. He was so dazed that I withheld to spare him,
but later I had an extensive discussions about it with Stella"
"Were you surprised?"
"I did not expect it. She always told me that she did not fall for women, but that I was an exception. When she
fell for Lars, it, for me, was a confirmation of this statement. But yeah, so you see that you always get surprised
and you never really know a person"
"Were you not sad?"
"No, don't be silly. So much time has passed. I had already built up a whole new life with Stella and you. No, not sad.
Of course, I sometimes wondered what my life would have looked like if we had stayed together, but I think we
ultimately would not have been happy. We were too different. Our lives were too different. It was meant to be"
"What do we do, have another drink, or do we go to sleep?"
"We take another drink and then we sleep. Tomorrow the last part and then .. "
"Then you see Mum again"
"Yes" Carla said with a big smile on her face.


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 48

The next morning they wanted to leave early. They had agreed that they would pick up Stella and the boys from
Marseille Provence airport. They would arrive at 9.35 am, so they had to leave early for the last 100 km to go.
They had agreed that Sophia would drive this part.

Halfway it went wrong.
"Shit"
"What?"
"Flat tire" and Sophia put the car on the side of the road.
"And now what?"
"Call for help"
Carla called Susanne that they had car problem and would be delayed. Susanne called a car service, but because of the
morning rush hour it would take a while before they would be there. They agreed that Susanne would go to the airport to
pick up Stella and the boys while they wait for help.

They left the car and sat on the roadside waiting for help.

"Mom?"
"Sophia!"
"You still owe me an answer"
"I know, but I still have not found the right words"
"Why not?"
"I want to give you a proper cause. It was a turbulent time, in which a lot has happened. Let me have some time, but I promise
you this holiday you will get an answer"
"Mom?"
"Sophia!"
"You and Mum are also very different. Why then does it work with you two?"
"Hmm, you know Stella is Stella. I think it works well because we got to know each other first before we got a relationship.
I know I'm not the easiest person. Certainly in that time my life was not easy. I was a single mother and took this task very
seriously. I tried yo spend as much time as possible with you and would not completely leave the parenting to a nanny.
Your father had moved to Munich, Susanne to Marseille, so they could not share the daily care for you, I also was in charge
of the Holding and Ansgar was constantly trying to take over. We, at that time, had no manager of the castle, so that I had
to do that too and then there was this blond whirlwind. Our first encounter was bad, but that we told you several times.
What I appreciated in her, but never said to her at that time, was that she was one of the few not family members,
that dared to go against me. She did so with great regularity. She was at that time the only one who was able to
break through the wall I had built around myself"
"Couldn't Grandma and Leonard do that?"
"Yes, but not in the way Stella did. Moreover, with Grandma and Leonard I broke down the wall myself. When I noticed
that I had fallen in love with her, I did my best to reinforce that wall, because I didn't think it was a good idea to have a
relationship with a staff member"
"And she knew how to break down this wall as well?"
"Yes"
"Would you still be together if she had not been your manager?"
"I don't know. I don't even know if we would have fallen in love. Stella's world and mine were so different. I think a large part
of the success of our relationship also lies in the fact that she already knew all the ins and outs of the family and life
in the castle before we got a relationship. She was often more at the castle than I because she worked there and I was
in the holding company. She knew in what kind of intrigues she would go, if she would have a relationship with me.
When we finally got a relationship, it was not easy for her. The staff treated her differently. For Tanja and Ansgar she now
was an easy target, because through her they tried to hit on me. They almost managed to separate us at that time"
"What, do you think, finally clinched?"
"Oh, that's not so difficult. When we decided to leave, they stopped. We left to travel the world with you. During that trip
we were completely on our own and we have gotten to know each other through and through. She had, before she came
to us, travelled extensively around the world and worked in various places around the world. I also travelled here and there,
but always as a spoiled brat in the most luxurious hotels. Stella definitely not wanted this during our trip. I did suffer a lot
during that trip. Pff"
"Why?"
"Well, for example our Honeymoon. We got married at Niagara Falls. I wanted a luxury honeymoon, but no, that was
definitely not what Stella wanted. She wanted a camping trip in the Rocky Mountains. Survival in the Rocky Mountains.
Eventually, we compromised. Rocky's one week and one week luxury in San Francisco"
"Where was I then?"
"You were with Leonard and Sarah during the week in the Rocky's. Then we picked you up and we went to San Francisco"
"What's so terrible that camping trip?"
"Sophia, please. Me, in a tent, no shower but washing in a river, pee in the woods. Sophia, I had to catch my own food.
For the first time in my life I held a live fish in my hands and I had to kill him and clean to eat. Sleeping in a tent in the
middle of the forest and the night sounds that you can not recognise. I was completely at her mercy. Know nothing of
surviving in nature. The first day I had to build a fire. I spent 3 hours, but did not succeed. She gave me some tools and
finally I succeeded, but I could not keep it burning. Eventually she came with matches and some dry grass and we had fire.
In the meantime she had already arranged a small camp"
"And Mum?"
"She enjoyed it. She loved it. She felt like a fish in water. With her father and brother, she went camping as a child.
Later she sometimes went camping with Christian and Gregor"
"Was it really so terrible?"
"The primitive part I found terribly, but being alone with Stella in these natural surroundings without distraction from the
outside, completely interdependent. I thought that was wonderful"
"So if I understand well, you, as a control freak, had to surrender completely to Mum?"
"Yes"
"And was it really that bad?"
"She knew exactly what she was doing there in the woods. I, with my ignorance, had to completely rely on her and
her survival skills. If she had left me there I would still be wandering"
"So basically you had to lay your whole life when her hands?"
"If you say it like that, yes, I really had to. What are you grinning? Am I missing something?"
"Well I'm just very proud of Mum. She knows exactly how to get you were she wants. As I've always interpreted it,
trust in another person was never your strong point. Trust also means surrendering to another person. Do you know that game.
You allow yourself to fall and blindly trusts that the person behind you, will catch you. With how many people in your life
have you dared to let yourself fall? Do you dare to fall when Mum stands behind you?"

Carla took a pause and Sophia looked at her.

"Yes, I dare to let myself fall with Stella. Yes, I dare to let myself fall with you, but frankly there are not many more people
who I've trusted enough to let myself fall. Leo and my father, of course, but I can't think of much more"

Sophia put her arm around her mother and asked,
"And that fish?"
"That was the best fish I ever tasted"
"Why?"
"Because it was prepared by Stella with so much love ... .. "
"Mom, what's up?"
"Nothing, I just miss her"

The emergency services arrived. Carla talked to them and while Sophia called Susanne.

They drove on towards Marseille.


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 49

Susanne had picked up Stella and the boys from the airport and brought them to the guest house. She bought some groceries,
so they didn't have to buy them straight away. Sophia had called again and reported that they would arrive in about half an hour.
This was the sign for Susanne to call on Lisa.

Sophia had called Susanne to ask her if Lisa wanted to go somewhere with the boys. She wanted to spend the day with Susanne,
so Carla and Stella had the day to themselves. She found that Carla needed a little time with Stella to straighten out her thoughts.

They finally arrived at the guesthouse. Everyone greeted each other warmly, but Stella noticed immediately that Carla was a bit absent.
They brought the suitcases inside. The boys were requested by Stella to unpack their suitcases. They sat with each other and had a drink
when Lisa arrived. When she told the boys that she would take them today to a water park, they immediately got their swimsuits and
could not wait to go. Lisa left with the boys. When Susanne stood up and asked Sophia to come with her, Carla and Stella looked at
her astonished. Susanne pointed at Sophia.

"I thought you would like it to spend some time alone with Mum after our trip and I called Lisa to pick up the boys. I will go with
Susanne and explore the city a bit. This evening we all meet in the restaurant of Brigitte and Susanne at 8.00. So you have the
whole day together" she winked at Carla who looked at her gratefully.

When everybody was gone Stella grabbed Carla's hands. Looked her deep into her eyes and asked;

"How are you? You look tired"
Carla sighed deeply and said, "I am tired. The trip felt like a roller coaster ride of feelings. Sophia knows exactly how to hit the right
chord with me. I have discussed many memories with her. She brought feelings in me to the surface that I had hidden well.
The last time I really have talked about this time and my feelings about that time, has been with you. I thought that I finally dealt
with it, but if your daughter is digging, that is a completely different story"
"And how did it feel?"
"Confrontational"
"Did you now tell her everything she wanted to know?"
"No. The question why Susanne and I married, I couldn't answer because I haven't found the right words yet"
"Ah. Do you think you are going to find them?"
"I promised her that I'll answer this vacation. Stella?"
"Yes"
"I love you"
"I love you too" and they hugged. When Stella put her arms around Carla, she felt her shoulders were cramped.
"Carla, your shoulders are stuck. Come and sit down I'll massage them"
"Hmm. Is there a bathtub?"
"Yes, why?"
"Let's take a bath together?"
"I'd love to, but that's just not possible with my cast leg"
"Oh, sorry. Of course"
"But I do have an idea. I have oil with me, that should be somewhere in my suitcase. Why don't you make yourself comfortable
on the bed, then I'll go and find the oil and massage the tension out of your shoulders" and gave Carla a kiss.

While Stella was looking for oil, Carla took her clothes off and lay on the bed on her stomach.

Stella was sitting next to Carla. Squirted some oil on her hands and began gently massaging Carla's shoulders. She sat
somewhat clumsy, because that cast leg was somewhat in the way, but she did her best to massage the tension in
Carla's shoulders away. Normally, a massage let to lovemaking, but soon Stella realised that Carla started to breathe regularly.
"Carla?"
No answer.
"Carla?"
Again no answer. Carla had fallen asleep.

"My love, what have your parents done to you. Everything for the appearance. Especially not show your feelings and oppress them.
Noblesse oblige. Well not with me and not with our children. How often do I have to catch you up after a dip in a chaos of feelings"
Stella thought, while she gently stroked Carla's hair. She lay down next to Carla and put her arms protectively around her.
Eventually Stella also fell asleep.

After 2 hours Carla woke up first. She felt the arms of Stella around her and gently turned around and saw that Stella was still asleep.
Carla looked at the sleeping Stella, but did not wake her.
"My love. My rock. What would I do you. You always bring out the best in me. How much can you love someone?"
Stella opened her eyes and looked into those of Carla and saw nothing but love in her eyes. She smiled at her.
"What time Sophia said we are expected in the restaurant,"
"8.00. Why?"
"Well then we have enough time"
Before Carla could answer, Stella kissed her passionately. Carla answered with an equally passionate kiss and started to
remove Stella's clothes. As always after an eruption of feelings, Carla's lovemaking was more compelling than usual.
This led therefore to be fast and furious peak. After she had recovered it was her turn. Stella also reached her peak quickly.
They lay next to eachother, exhausted, for some time. After a while, Carla said;

"I have not eaten since breakfast and therefore I am hungry. Shall we eat something?"
"Yes please"
"You stay here, then I will prepare lunch and we will eat outside in the sun on the terrace. I'll call you when I'm done"

Carla set the table. Went to the bakery for fresh bread and picked some flowers to decorate the table. When she came
home and was ready she called Stella.

"Wow. That looks very nice"
"Sit down. What would you like to drink? Juice, coffee, tea, say it"
"Coffee, would be nice"

Carla gave them both coffee and sat at the table too.
"Want a roll?"
"Yes, that one" and Stella pointed at a roll.
Carla knew she would choose this particular one. She especially bought this by Stella beloved roll. She gave Stella the roll.
"Oh, you've already cut him open?"
"Uh yeah," Carla said, but Stella saw that she had planned something and looked at her smiling. She opened the roll.
Inside the roll was a box, containing a necklace with pendant. The pendant was a star with diamonds. On the back was
an engraving that says "Forever yours". Stella was totally surprised and did not know what to say.
"I saw this pendant at a jeweller in the first city where Sophia and I stopped. I knew immediately that this was intended
for you. You're the star that I sail on. For me, I knew it would be an emotional journey. I knew I would be confronted with
my time with Susanne a lot. I know that we will spend a lot of time with Susanne. But know that whatever will happen,
you're my wife. You are my partner. You are my soul mate. You are my life. Please do not feel threatened by the
presence of Susanne. Trust me"

Stella just sat there listening speechless. After a while she began to speak softly

"Carla. I never doubted us. I've never not trusted you. I know this will be a special trip, because you really going to be
confronted with your life with Susan. I also know the reason for this trip. This trip is not only intended to give Sophia
clarity about your life. This trip is also intended for you, you both to finally get give clarity. I know we are forever,
but hearing that in this way. Oh, I do not think it is annoying" and gave Carla a wink.

Stella rose and walked to Carla. Sat on her lap and gave her a kiss, for both the pendant and her openness.
"And now we finally eat," she said removing the tension, because she saw that Carla's tears were about to burst.

The rest of the afternoon flew by. They changed their clothes and went to the restaurant of Brigitte and Susanne to dine
with the rest of the Family. On the way Stella said,
"Are you looking up to meet Brigitte? We, after all, have never met her"
"A little"
"It will be OK. You'll see" Stella said, and she took Carla's hand and they walked hand in hand to the restaurant.


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Yea! I am so enjoying this. Thank you!

_________________
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching."
Satchel Paige

My pleasure :knicks:

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King

Part 50

When they walked into the restaurant, everyone was already at the table.

"Well, well, here you finally are" everyone cried in simultaneous.
"Why finally? It's 19.50. We are too early"
Carla glanced over the table, but saw nobody unknown.
"Come sit down" Susanne said
"One Moment" Carla said "I need to talk with this young lady" and she looked at Sophia.
"What's the matter Mama?"
"Would you please come with me. I gotta talk to you"
Sophia looked confused at Stella, who looked equally confused. She got up and walked out of reach with Carla.
"Mom, what is it?"
"Sophia. I just wanted to thank you for today" and she hugged her daughter.
"You're welcome Mom"

They walked back to the table. The boys were excited to share what they had experienced that day at the water park.
Lisa told Carla and Stella that she had enjoyed the day.
"What a nice sons do you have. They are two little charmers. Although they wanted to experience all the activities,
they spend all day occupied with me. Every time they asked if I had a pleasant time. Very attentive boys"
Carla and Stella shone.

"Mum, what's that necklace you're wearing? Is that new?" Sophia said.
"Yes, that is new. This afternoon I got it from your mother" and she looked at Carla.
"It is beautiful. Suits you" Sophia said.

"How was your day?" Stella asked Sophia and Susanne to draw the attention from her.
Sophia frowned, but gave an answer
"I liked it. We have walked through the city. Seen some things, but mainly shopped and sat on terraces"

"When are we going to eat? I'm hungry" Marcus interrupted the conversation.
He immediately got a glimpse from Carla for his impoliteness.

"You're right, Marcus. I'll tell the staff to bring our meal" Susanne said.

Susanne had composed a surprise meal with Brigitte. They though of everyone in terms of taste and diet.
The staff brought the starter and behind them was the cook. It was a small not very thin woman wearing a cooks uniform.
She gave some orders to the staff, but came straight to their table. Susan got up and walked to Carla.
"Carla, may I introduce you to my wife Brigitte"
Carla stood up, turned and before she could say anything, Brigitte took her hands, looked deep into her eyes and said,
"At last we meet. How nice to see you. You look exactly like Susanne described you. Welcome to Marseille.
Welcome to our restaurant"

Carla was completely abashed. The warmth of the woman took her by surprise. She saw a woman who looked
nothing like her, but perhaps had the sweetest eyes of the world. The woman radiated a warmth and openness
that confused Carla. Stella saw this, got up and introduced herself to Brigitte.
"Hello, Brigitte, I'm Stella. Nice to meet you"

The diversion was successful. Stella introduced her to Marcus and Julius. After the round of introductions Brigitte
told what the starter was and apologised because she went back to the kitchen to continue with the main course.

Everyone sat down and began to eat. Stella looked obliquely at Carla who sat beside her.
"What just happened here?" Stella thought.

When the appetiser was cleared, Julius and Marcus enthusiastically talked about their day with Lisa. As she listened
to the animated stories of the boys, Stella put her arm on the back of Carla's seat. She began to gently stroke her
back with her thumb, because she noticed that Carla was nervous.

Susanne and Sophia told excited about their day in the city. They enjoyed what they saw, but Susanne had especially
enjoyed the presence of Sophia. She finally felt part of Sophia's life, even though it was just a start. She didn't force
anything, and that proved to be the best remedy, as Sophia had also enjoyed the presence of Susanne.

As she listened to the stories Carla became calmer. Stella felt that and pulled her hand away. When the staff served
the main course and Brigitte reappeared, Carla took Stella's hand. She needed her support. Stella did not understand
what was going on, but took the role of supporter with pleasure.

The evening was very pleasant and after dessert, Brigitte came to sit with them to have a drink. The boys were getting tired
because off the travel and the swimming. Carla and Stella decided therefore to go so they could go to sleep.
They said goodbye to Susanne, Lisa and Brigitte and thanked them for the evening. Sophia stayed with Lisa, but
walked outside with Stella and the boys. Carla had to go to the toilet.

"What happened to Mama? She was so nervous" she said to Stella.
"No idea. I've got her calm, but what was going on, I do not know, but I'll find out. Do not worry"
"Okay. But uh that necklace? I noticed that did not want to talk about"
Stella turned the hanger and said, "Read it"
"Nice and sweet"

Carla came out. They said goodbye and walked back to their guesthouse. The boys were soon in bed and Stella and
Carla were still on the terrace and took another drink. They had only candlelight and the light of the moon.

"It was very nice tonight, but what happened to you?"
"Oh, Stella I do not know either. I am blissfully happy with you and our family. I have everything I could wish for"
"And?"
"You know, being confronted with Brigitte was more intense then I expected"
"You're not jealous?"
" .... "
"Carla, come on. I don't know that on you. You're never jealous. Although when I was back then, before we were together,
flirting with Charlie, you were jealous. Carla?"
"I believe I was actually jealous. You know that really only happened with Susanne. The moment someone gave her
a little more attention, I became jealous. I do not know why, but that actually started quite early in our relationship"
"Was that perhaps because of the comments of Arno about his doubts that Susanne would eventually fall in love
with a man again?"
"Maybe, but it was even before he expressed his doubts"
"Was it because Susanne is with a woman and not with a man?"
" ... .. "
"Carla?"
"... .."
"Carla, please give me an answer"
"I was somewhat surprised when I heard it"
"Somewhat surprised?"
"Okay, I was stunned. I never thought that Susanne would have another relationship with a woman. When she went to France,
I wondered how long it would take before she would be together with a Frenchman. When I finally heard that she was with
a woman that hurt me, although I have already been happy with you for a number of years. Then I seriously wondered
why everything went wrong. Would that still have to do with jealousy? Stella, it is ridiculous that after all these years
I'm still jealous. Why do I do that?"
"Well, you know, I think that has to do with trust. Maybe you, somewhere down the line, stopped trusting Susanne,
but also stopped trusting yourself concerning your relationship"
"Hmm. Could it be?"
"I'm not sure, but it could"
"Stella?"
"Yes"
"Are we going to have another drink or go to sleep?"
"We'll have a drink and now we will first enjoy the beautiful night sky, before we go to sleep"


...

_________________
Our live begins to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King